One More Update

Director’s Notes… (slow to cross the ocean!)

Dear Friends,

I hope the New Year will continue to bring us happiness and joy. Since January we have much to do. We are preparing for coming holidays: the Shrovetide and the Women’s day. Let me tell you about the 23d of February, The Day of Country Defenders. We had a group of friends from Kirov. Seven students of the police college prepared a Zarnitza (orienteering), after it we had a tea party with presents and singing and playing the guitar. The children liked the holiday very much. I hope that the further holidays will be only better. I also want to let you know that all of us appreciate your financial support of the orphanage. This is a lot of help. We managed to buy skiis and bikes with the funds that you had provided to us. Thank you from all of us that take care of these children. God Bless you all, Anisiya Pavlovna Vachreneva

Prayer Requests… Please pray for all of the children at the orphanage and for the orphanage personnel.

It's a few little things that make a big difference. A guitar and extra funds means a special tea party with special guests--and special memories for our precious children. Bikes and skis mean exercise, fun, and transportation to town and to work for the older children.

We're getting ready to travel and planning how we can best continue to meet needs. We are hoping to be able to fund crucial programs and provide necessities as we have for the past 2 years. We are hoping to raise enough funds for English lessons in 2009-2010 (you can contribute on the right side of this blog!). Of course, we'll have a letter drive, as well as drives for little things that make a big difference (nail polish, supplies for therapeutic games, sports equipment, and the like).

All of this is thanks to donors like you! Believe us, we have no windfall of cash with which to support these children at the orphanage. Somehow, through partner organizations and individual generosity, it always comes together. We'd love for you to join us in thinking and praying, finding creative ways to care for our children and meet needs. No ideas or contributions are too small. They are so thankful!

Travelling: Day Two

We commonly begin our second day of a trip by waking up in Kirov City after spending the night on the train from Moscow. We're met at the train station by the local HopeChest staff, led by one of the nicest ladies in Russia, Olga. This first full day is usually relatively easy so as to acclimate to the time change and the surroundings. We check into a nice hotel, Gastinitsa Tsentralnya (that just means Central Hotel) and take a much needed shower before heading out for some food, acculturation, and buying supplies for the coming visit to Sovietsk. We spend some time walking around Kirov City. In the past, we've visited a beautiful Orthodox church within walking distance of the hotel. There is a department store where we buy the supplies we need for the orphanage (a quite interesting experience in itself). We can exchange our dollars for rubles there, too. Our team will get together and review the plans for the week and make any additional preparations. In the evening, we have a nice meal either at the hotel or at a nearby restaurant--last year we heard some pretty solid jazz at a local club, a pleasant surprise! The important part is getting some sleep before the real adventure begins. Next, we'll tell you about what it's like when we first get to the orphanage. Stay tuned.

Travelling in Russia

As we think about our next trip, we thought it would be good to go into a bit more depth about what it's like to travel through Russia. Here's a day-by-day breakdown of a typical trip with Children's HopeChest.

Day One-ish: In the morning, we leave our house and head to the Indianapolis International Airport. We fly from Indy to either JFK or Atlanta for a short layover before boarding the nine hour international flight into Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport. On the plane I try to sleep (and fail) and Sarah snoozes off and on. After arriving at the airport, we go through customs and get our luggage. (Whatever you do don't make eye contact or try to be friendly with the customs agents.) We then meet up with one of HopeChest's Russian staff members and emerge from the airport and into daylight. The eight hour time difference means that it's already the next morning in Moscow. That's when the jet lag sets in and you realize just how upside down you feel. But it's okay, we know we'll adjust.

From the airport we head to the train station to drop our luggage in a locker and have Sbarro's for lunch (yeah, weird, I know but it's right by the train station and the food is decent). From there we head out for a little sightseeing. On our last trip we visited a picturesque monastery in the heart of Moscow. Sightseeing is a good way to ease into the new timezone and learn a bit about the country you'll call home for the next week and a half.

From there we head back to the train station and board the overnighter to Kirov. We usually book second class cabins. It's less expensive than first class but we still get some privacy, a bed, and a place for our luggage, which you don't get in third class. There's a dining car that sells drinks and food, but we usually eat bread, cheese and fruit that we picked up at a grocery before boarding. Each train car has its own attendant who brings you tea or coffee in the morning. The train rolls into the Kirov station early the next morning, but because of the jet lag we're usually wide awake an hour or so before we arrive.

I admit that the train takes some getting used to, but once you acclimate to the space and the feel of rail travel it can be really enjoyable. I usually sleep pretty well (it probably helps that I haven't slept for awhile) and you get to see some really beautiful and interesting countryside along the way.

Coming soon... what we do on the first day in Kirov City.

Caregiver's Corner

Another update!

Again, let me thank you for all your care for our children. Letters make their lives brighter. It’s a pity not all of the children get letters from their U.S. friends. They really wait for their letters. Not very long ago in our local newspaper there was an article about our summer guests Sarah and Ben. Children read and re-read this article. They miss Sarah and Ben very much! They send their love to them and ask to come to them this summer again. Thank you for your support,

From Irina Nikolaevna

First, we can't believe we made the newspaper! We had a few jokes from our trip to Dolbiylova about being ready for the media, but apparently we should have been. I am so curious to see the article when we return. We are so excited to visit again (have we mentioned that?) and bring more friends to love on these kids.

About the letters . . . it is so hard to have a few kids who are not getting letters and a few who are. We have 2 children left who don't have a pen pal at all, and we just have no way of knowing who is writing to their children regularly and who isn't. Every time we hear from the caregivers, they say they wish everyone would receive letters. We do, too! If you have a pen pal or are a child sponsor, please try to write each month--why not write today? If you know someone who is writing, ask them when they last wrote. Let's help each other! It's hard to keep up, our lives are so full. Not so for our children, who wait anxiously for the letters and ask for them each time the discipler visits.

We'll have another letter drive very soon. Last time we went, we brought so many beautiful gifts, but the letters were the biggest hit. Our fellow travelers will vouch for us after they see it themselves.

If you'd like to be a pen pal or a child sponsor, drop me a note and we'll get you set up.

Speaking the Language of Love with an Accent

Just the last year of MSW studies has increased the depth and range of my understanding of children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect, as our children at Sovietsk have. Dr. Bruce Perry's The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog offers explanations based in psychiatry--brain science--and explores the long-term effects of early childhood experiences on development. I would recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about these children.

In the chapter called "Skin Hunger," we read of Laura, a little girl who was literally wasting away. She had plenty of food--she was on a high-calorie feeding tube diet--but her body could not metabolize the food because of emotional neglect. It is like a human runt syndrome. Without nurture and stimulation, the body's growth hormone shuts off. She was 26 pounds at age 4.

What I find extremely fascinating is that Laura's mother, Virginia, was truly doing everything she knew to nurture Laura. She knew to feed her, bathe her, change her. But she didn't know to hold her, sing to her, smile at her. She didn't know how to experience love herself, so she didn't know how to share it with her daughter.

Virginia had no attachment at infancy--she was moved from home to home until the age of 5, well after her brain had been 'programmed' with how human relationships work. Virginia never experienced the repeated, patterned stimuli children need to learn emotional give and take or empathy. She didn't even learn to associate human contact with joy. However, from ages 5-18, she lived with a kind, caring family who taught her strong values and moral direction. Her cognitive brain developed with an understanding of right from wrong, but her emotional foundation was weak and incomplete.

The hope in this is that with proper intervention, Virginia learned to give Laura what she needs. Laura grew into a healthy young woman. But as Dr. Perry says, the scars for both of them remain. Dr. Perry tells us that if a child doesn't learn a new language before puberty, the child will speak the new language with an accent--the brain cannot accommodate the information as completely as it could have at an earlier developmental stage. He says the same for Laura and Virginia--while they have learned how to smile and relate in social situations, their natural language is more withdrawn, reserved, even sad.

This guides our work at Sovietsk. Some of these children experienced attachments as infants, some never have. Some have experienced pain and fear that I can never understand. Most of them missed some important emotional developmental milestones, and they've had to learn to function with pieces of themselves missing. Those who grow up to have relationships and families of their own may find themselves lost in a foreign language--they truly, honestly do not know what so many of us feel as natural and fundamental. They speak the language of love with an accent, if they can learn the language at all.

When we go, we hope to expand their love vocabularies. We look them in the eye. We touch them gently and appropriately--no violation or threat involved. We respect them unconditionally, simply for being who they are. We are patient when they struggle with conversation, we remember that they are learning to navigate a new world. We listen when they finally can share. We just love them. We cannot fill the void in their hearts and minds, but we pray to the one who can. And we hope, hope, hope they gain enough understanding to find a way to love again, even just enough, so their children can experience what they have missed.

Photo Credit: David Madison

Discipler's Update

Here is a letter from Ann, the new discipler at Sovietsk:

Dear Friends,

I am glad that I continue working with Sovietsk as it is very rewarding. The children are healthy; two of them went to the sanatorium to have some rest in January. During their winter holidays, they went to Kirov several times for charity New Year and Christmas show in a café. They also had an exhibition of their handmade works. The headmaster was really proud of the results. Some orphanage graduates came to visit their teachers and friends.

On February 23rd there was a marvelous party for all children. There was a group of guests from Kirov who organized the event. Children liked everything, and I’m sure they will be eager to share their emotions. Now the orphanage is preparing for the Shrovetide and the Women’s Day holiday. Shrovetide will take place on the 1st of March, and it will surely be very bright and memorable.

Thanks for your writing and continuous support. Your support means a lot to all of us.

From Ann Butorova

We are looking forward to meeting Ann on our next trip. She has a lot of enthusiasm and is very committed to the children, which is just what they need!

Sponsor funds pay for Ann's visits to Sovietsk, as well as for special events and celebrations like you read about above. They also pay for arts and crafts lessons, which allows them opportunities to meet other kids and have the exhibition. Trips to the city and extra visitors are wonderful for all children, and they are special and rare for children in the orphanages.

February 23 is Defender of the Fatherland (or Motherland) Day, and Shrovetide is similar to Mardi Gras (without the raucous party atmosphere) in that you eat pancakes and Lent begins, and of course, Women's Day is March 8.

Our kids go to the sanatorium fairly often, as some of them have some health challenges. In Russia, though, sanatorium is quite different than we think of. It's a place for the children to go when they are ill, so they can rest, relax, receive treatment, and keep other children from getting ill. Above, you see some of the special treatments the children at Sovietsk receive, as many of them have latent tuberculosis--though they are not sick while at the orphanage.

More letters to come!