The Reality of Personal Relationship

Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything. — Thomas Merton

I am a social worker. As a profession, we have worked hard to establish data in measurable outcomes that shows the results of our work--proof that we have specialized helping skills, proof that we deserve to be a profession, and proof that what we're doing is actually working. We use these results to develop techniques and programs based on evidence of what works in attempt to make them the most effective for the people we serve. Important stuff!

But here's the thing: all the programming in the world can't heal someone who is genuinely lonely, truly heartbroken. Sometimes the most therapeutic thing I can do for the kids I see here is to show up on time, every time, do what I say I'm going to do, and treat them with lovingkindness and respect. These are kids who have seen things most of us have only seen in nightmares, and God bless them, they are working so hard to become healthy and whole again. They also have the benefit of joining a family, and when it's a healthy family who loves them and is committed to their wellbeing, that's the best kind of therapy around.

Our kids at Sovietsk are in a different boat. Most of them will not be going home to families. In fact, last I heard, of the nearly 3 million children in Russian orphanages only .018% will be adopted.

What do we do? It can be so discouraging.

A wonderful young man Ben and I have invested in deeply is struggling beyond our imagination right now. He's on his own and without a nurturing family to support him. We feel helpless, and we hurt for him.

What do we do?

Tending toward the philosophical, Ben and I take this a step further, wondering how our work at the orphanage truly makes a difference. Throwing money is not sustainable--both because we don't have the money to throw and because donations can only take the children so far.

We have focused on programs which invest in the future for these children: psychological support, medical treatment, educational opportunities, skill-building and preparation for life beyond the orphanage. But without the love of a family, they only go so far.

So, this year, we are back to basics: sponsorship and travel. The Reality of Personal Relationships. We are more than happy to accept funds and donations for special projects and medical needs--we gladly accept any and all! But more than that, we want to continue to build a family for these children. That is, after all, what all children need.

Please stay tuned for more opportunities to join the family of these 35 children who are living without one. Believe me, it's among the most rewarding things I've ever done.